The United Colon Vlog » Misc/Humor

Difficultly Sleeping Because of IBD

Dennis — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 15:29:54 +0000

Every once and awhile I find a Garfield Minus Garfield comic that relates to IBD. Jon here seems to be having a terrible night sleeping. Boy have I sure been in his shoes. Whether it was living with IBD and waking up to go to the bathroom, problems sleeping because of new medicines, hospital stays, or surgery recoveries, or accidents with my ostomy or J-pouch, many nights I just looked forward to the day so I could try it all again.

Sleep tight, everybody!
~Dennis

Public Restroom Nightmare!

Dennis — Mon, 24 May 2010 22:13:31 +0000

Sometimes with IBD, you have to go to the bathroom now and you just try to find the nearest bathroom. While we should all be in the habit of checking the stall first for toilet paper before going to the bathroom, sometimes we just jump on the toilet and worry about the clean up later.

Recently I found myself in one such situation. After going to the bathroom, I realized there was no paper!

I looked over to the sink to see if there was any paper in the drawers, but no such luck.

In extreme situations, paper towels will work, although they can be very chaffing. Unfortunately for me, the only towels were these stupid blue sheet towels!

Other times, though, you just seem to get lucky and hit the jackpot. I found this pleasant display once and hope you all might find such a treasure trove of toilet paper in your public restroom travels.

Keep pooping,
~Dennis

TP + IBD = OUCH!!

Nadia — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 12:46:48 +0000

Airing my complaints about toilet paper. The video is pretty self explanitory. For a very serious issue and illness, we have to sometimes be light and not always heavy. This rant about toilet paper is truth, but I try to use humor in describing my feelings about it. Personally, one of the biggest ways I cope is by using humor. Without it, it would be very difficult for me to handle a lot of what I’m going through. According to a study by Scott Tissue, fifty four percent of people fold their toilet tissue neatly while 35 percent wad it into a ball before using it. I think to myself: ‘what about the other 11 percent?’ EW! Anyway, enjoy my video!

“A sense of humor… is needed armor. Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.” ~Hugh Sidey

~Nadia

QUESTION: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ABLE TO USE HUMOR IN WAYS TO HELP YOU DEAL WITH YOUR ILLNESS? Share your funny comments!

We Poop and Pass Gas! Get Over It! Nadia’s Rant Part 2

Nadia — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 12:03:29 +0000

Bathroom issues are a delicate subject which most people wish not to discuss. However, everybody poops, everybody pees, everybody passes gas–it’s a fact of life. But nobody wants to talk about these body functions, yet it happens to all. It’s not easy nor common for me to say, “Hi, I’m Nadia, I have IBD issues, and I sit on the toilet and crap my brains out.” Nobody would ever say that, but living with IBD, this is the sad truth. This is my rant about this issue. It doesn’t lower your femininity because you have issues with going to the bathroom, yet so often we feel that we can’t even talk about this. Girls don’t talk about pooping and diarrhea. Girls don’t talk about farting. You ask most girls and they deny they even do it!! Well, I will be the first to admit that I do, and sometimes it’s BAD, but I’m not ashamed because I cannot help it! This is a horrible illness and we are sick. Where is the shame in that? Girls, We are not Barbie dolls. We are HUMAN!! We have to get over the stigma and start talking about this. How do we raise awareness unless we talk about it?

“Only man can blush.
No other creature knows of shame.
Why have we wandered so far away
From simple honesty?” ~Edwin Leibfreed

~Nadia

QUESTION: IS IT DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO TALK ABOUT YOUR IBD/CROHNS/COLITIS ISSUES? IS THIS A TABOO SUBJECT FOR YOU? AND IF SO, WHY?

Life Gets Overwhelming

Dennis — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 11:41:55 +0000

Jon seems to be overwhelmed in this latest Garfield Minus Garfield comic. IBD can be very difficult many days, no doubt about that. Hopefully you have more bright days than gray days.

Keep fighting,
~Dennis

Poop by Numbers Toilet Paper

Dennis — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 13:04:42 +0000

Check out this funny pic posted on Epic Win FTW recently:

Keep fighting,
~Dennis

“Property Review” A Journal Entry by Nadia

Nadia — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 13:57:56 +0000

Last year, I wrote this “Property Review” of my body. This is a metaphorical essay. I was having a particularly difficult series of things that were going wrong at that time, so I decided to write a review as if I was being reviewed by a critic. This is sort of a satire about all of my body issues. It helped me try to accept some of the things that were happening at that time…

Originally written: Wednesday, July 15, 2009 at 11:48am
I’m writing a review of the property belonging to Nadia Deane.. More specifically, My body. I have to rate this property a 2.5 stars. It’s not the worst, but truly it’s not the best. As I have resided in the property for more than 18 years, I have come to learn all its faults and highlights, and I would like to share my thoughts about it.

-First, the birds eye view of the world is blurry without corrective lenses to make things clearer.
-The plumbing is substandard due to deterioration. Most of the piping had to be removed. However, the reconstruction has proven effective with one drawback, most of the sewage runs through quite quickly. Not necessarily a bad thing..
-The structural foundation is somewhat weak. Many creaks and cracks can be heard and felt throughout the property. The property joints have aged prematurely, however, I find this adds character :-)
-The landscaping needs to be tended to, but with work and time the look can be beautiful.
-It’s a small property but quaint.
-Accessing parts of the property may be difficult as there has been a large foreign object that has most recently created a pile up of clotted natural debris on Left Arm Avenue. Scientists believe this is called a Picc Line Diversion which runs from Cephalic Road all the way to Subclavian Way. There is a detour that will reroute you for 6 months. The construction workers are poking hard to get the obstruction out of the way. However they have damaged Liver Boulevard in their quest to remove the road block. This is the most recent drawback to this property.
-Pancreatic Place has been remodeled in the past year and work still needs to be done to complete its renovation, but it has been left alone for the time being.
-Now, for some highlights: The heart of this property beats strong especially with the love and attention of the heart’s most recent occupant. Mr. Raza Sabzwari has taken quite good care of it and treats it with the utmost love and respect with all his hard work. He keeps the heart beating strong and true which quite makes up for the imperfections in other areas of this property. It’s the charm of this entire place. It’s inviting and full of love. So much so all visitors can feel its affects.
-$5000 investment has been put into the mouth of the property. Tourists love this sight, the spectacular view of this investment is the happiest part of the property.
-The roof of this property is very strong. It was with calculated effort that the smartest of all investments went into this brainchild. With cultivating research to build its strength, the brain of this property will have a long life as investments will continue to be made.

Note: the two creators of this property who established it more than 18 years ago, feel terrible about all the damages. However, they work tirelessly and lovingly toward its upkeep.

Journaling helps me to vent a lot of the feelings I have. If you would like to share ways that help you deal with everything, leave a comment or email me at Nadia@UCVlog.com and let me know!

“Words alone cannot fully convey the realities of the soul or the greatness of the human spirit.” ~William Shirley
~Nadia

Ostomy Rap

Dennis — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:43:51 +0000

Here’s a fun little video of nursing students rapping about ostomies. The video’s not the best quality but the rap is kind of funny and good for a laugh or two.

Keep fighting,
~Dennis

Some Days are no Fun

Dennis — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 13:53:22 +0000

Sometimes Garfield Minus Garfield says it best. Some days with our diseases just don’t turn out as we expect.

Keep fighting,
~Dennis

Accident in Bed

Dennis — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:21:22 +0000

What exactly is going on in this Garfield Minus Garfield comic? It seems to me that Jon has had an accident in bed.

I’ve been there before.

Keep fighting,
~Dennis