Brenda Elsagher, comedian, speaker, and author, recently came out with her fourth book, It’s in the Bag and Under the Covers.. This book is a godsend to anybody worried about managing romantic relationships after ostomy surgery.
The book is a collection of 60+ stories from real ostomates about how to navigate dating, intimacy, sexuality, and caregiving with an ostomy. The people are from all walks of life and from around the world: some are very young, some are very old. Most are straight, but some are gay. Some people were already in a committed relationship or marriage before surgery, and many were not.
The book is Elsagher’s most “adult” book, and doesn’t hold too many punches when it comes to describing the sexual triumphs–and failures–these people have gone through.
Not all the stories are positive. There are some heartbreaking stories in here of marriages of 20+ years that fell apart after ostomy surgery because one partner couldn’t accept the other. But with the bad comes the good, and most everybody has a very positive attitude when it comes to relationships in spite of their ostomy.
For anybody concerned about romantic relationships following ostomy surgery, I highly recommend this book. It’s an honest look at the ups and downs of such a personal topic. A nice bonus included in the back of the book is a listing of most email addresses of the contributors. If a particular story speaks to where you are at in your life, maybe this could be the starting point of talking more personally with an ostomate just like you.
Rating: 5/5
Keep fighting,
~Dennis


