Comments on: Missing my stoma http://ucvlog.com/2008/12/08/missing/ Support for those with inflammatory bowel diseases. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 00:38:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Anonymous http://ucvlog.com/2008/12/08/missing/#comment-2422 Sun, 14 Aug 2011 12:13:00 +0000 http://ucvlog.com/?p=377#comment-2422 Dennis, thank you so much for making tis video.You touched on this entire other side of the colectomy–ieostomy-jpouch proccess that plays up only in our inner world, and it’s not easy to find the language for talking about it. It’s hard for other people to understand how our identites are bound to some very essential, primal body concepts, and that this identity gets profoundly uprooted with the collectomy, and then you go through this almost violent-feeling process of pulling your identity back togehter.
I had the collectomy in early April. At first, I couldn’t look at my stoma without bursting into tears and having to deal wih these feelings of body chaos, me-chaos, and loss. There were weeks where I could only feel mutilated and doubted that I’d ever feel like myself again, or feel like a woman again, or have any of these me feelings again.
About 1 1/2 to 3 months into the experience, I realized that I was having a relationship with my stoma. I thought about it a lot. I had the funny, strange feeling that I have a little puppy with me all the time that needs my loving care. I became extra, extra careful when cutting my wafers, because I wanted my stoma to feel good, have enough room and not be squeezed, but also not too much room. Around this time I stopped having leaks. I also take my bag off in the morning and then get in the shower, even if my stoma is active while I’m in the shower, because (this might sound silly but you’ll understand this I’m sure) this is when I can spend time with it. Then I take care of it with stoma powder, Eaken ring etc.
It is working very hard for me and doing a fantastic job. I was at the surgeons last month and while I was checking my stoma, I told him, my stoma is a great stoma and it’s going to be a fantastic jpouch.
Sometimes, at work, I lay my finger lightly on it and think “Hi.”

Anyway, I’m going to miss my stoma too, but it’s only going inside, not leaving me.
I’ll have the 2nd operation probably in December (7 months after the collectomy but I have to schedule around what I need to do at work) and then the take-down 4 weeks after that.
Thanks again and all the best,
Ruth

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