The United Colon Vlog

*Real ostomy dreams before waking up with a full pouch.

I was living in my house with another man, the same house I live in now. One day a former professor visited and said she was going to stay at my house for a little bit. I said she could and she went upstairs. I didn’t see her very much at all.

The next morning I got up for work and she was in the shower. She was there for over two hours! I looked at the bathroom door, which was more like a back door since it had glass panes for a window, divided into squares. She had the blue and white curtains drawn and her shower was so hot that steam came out from under the door. I grew frustrated waiting for her so I dressed and left for work.

Unfortunately, it was downpouring outside. My house was tiny and white and sat on a gray hill. The sky was gray and the ground was slippery. I ran down the path and mud splashed on my shirt. The coat closet was outside the house, a shallow white square standing upright next to the path, approximately fifty feet away from my house. I ducked into the closet and moved all the hangers aside, taking shelter under the little roof. I kept a spare shirt in the closet so I unbuttoned my shirt and prepared to change. I looked at my stomach, though, and noticed that I didn’t have an ileostomy anymore. I got very worried and wondered what could’ve happened to it.

Then I woke up and had to empty my pouch.